Finding Your Edge: Living Life Head First

In yoga, finding your edge is getting to that sweet spot between "Totes easy! I can pose like this all day." and "AHH! Curse you, demon person of an instructor! When will it end!" It's that point where you could easily fall head first on to the floor, but could just as easily reach a point past where you have been before in your life. The edge, an insightful instructor once told me, is where we're meant to live because it's where you stare into the mirror and really see yourself staring back.

This year with all of its pain and loss, has been one of finding the edge. The edge of loving and leaving, the edge of kindness and carelessness, the edge of life and death. I remember once saying out loud that I wanted to know if I could swim through every tide and, after this year, I know I can.

The hardest part of the edge? Courage. You need to have courage to go forward when bad things happen, to leave things that don't serve you anymore, and to live without a 5-year plan for a bit. As a person who likes order in my life, this year has been an exercise in letting go and I'm glad to have to opportunity to experience it. I have "white knuckled" life for so so long that I almost forgot what it felt like to just enjoy the ride.

I resolve to enjoy my edge and to live with the contentment of knowing I can care for myself even through the worst of time. And I can care for others too. And I can let others care for me. I'm not perfect, nothing is, but I am here, I'm present and I'm ready. Allons-y!

Baby Sloth Bathtime

Just because. You're welcome.

Now is Now

If you have yet to read the Happiness Project blog, hop on over and check it out. She has such a wonderful way of summing up big, epic truths in life with a casual, humorous voice. 

One of my favorite things about this site (and the book!) are her simple truths in life - things she has learned in her life that seem to apply universally. In this post, she talks about staying in the present using a scene from one of my favorite movies, Before Sunrise (don't judge! I grew up in the 90s - Ethan Hawk was dreamy then!). 

Clearing Out Clutter

Found this awesome guy here. Great post on mental clutter!

"A comfortable home is a great source of happiness. It ranks immediately after health and a good conscience." — Sydney Smith (Thanks Happiness Project!)

Clutter is a big part of my life. I seem to have tons of it - a cluttered craft room, a cluttered coffee table (much to Ryan's chagrin) and a mid full of racing, cluttery thoughts. Clutter, clutter, clutter. Say it enough and your skin starts to crawl. Clutter. *shiver* Yuck.

My cluttered life isn't for lack of trying to be non-cluttered. I recycle, clear out spaces, purge my messes, donate items and toss stuff regularly, but like a tsunami it creeps back in one yard of fabric or one cookbook at a time. I try to focus on not buying new things in X category or for Y area, but it keeps coming like a wave of zombies. 

I don't know what happened this January, but I had enough. "Clutter - GET OUTTA HERE!" My brain said. I cleared out my fridge, my pantry, my closet and my office. I took clothing donations to the Salvation Army and all my extra craft supplies to an awesome after school program that needed them. I uncluttered my schedule and decided to have some time for myself to exercise. Goodbye clutter!

With so many surfaces in my home and in my life clear, I feel good about what's starting. My mind is opening up and my chest is less tight from stress. I can find things I'm looking for and not have that "Awww damn!" moment when you pour expired spaghetti sauce into your freshly made pasta. Now my shelves are stocked with fresh stuff and for once you can clearly see what's in the fridge. Victory!

When my home is clear, I'm clear. What about you? Do you need to clean your kitchen before you start a project or scrub the bathtub before doing your taxes? How do you clear your messy surfaces, physical or otherwise?

Need help getting there in 2012? Zen Habits has you clear and uncluttered!

Saturdays - AMIRITE?

Vinnie Jones and Stayin' Alive!

Recent research has shown that the chances of surviving a heart attack double if the person helping you does continuous compression CPR. Vinnie Jones, the badass from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, shows us how it's done.

Pumpkin Oatmeal!

Lots of lovely oatmeals - thanks A Beautiful Mess!

I'm a breakfast gal. I just don't do well without something in my tummy first thing in the morning. While I LOVE donuts, scrambled eggs and bacon, I know that having something more balanced will set a better tone for my day. Enter oatmeal!

Oatmeal is magical! It's good for you (most types have more than 3 grams of soluble fiber - the cholesterol lowering kind! - per serving) and the complex carbs digest slowly so that you don't want to cut someone for a Snickers bar by 11 a.m. Most importantly (to me) it's diverse: you can get super crazy flavors at your local grocery store or add delicious things to plain varieties (My favorites are Irish Oatmeal and Quaker Rolled Oats). Plus, what other breakfast food has a hilarious comic site named after it? Not so fast Raisin Bran.

Today after my walk (HOLLA!) I whipped up a bowl of Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal after seeing the recipe on A Beautiful Mess.

I tweaked the recipe a bit with what I had on hand - here's what I did:

"How long did that take, Sarah? I don't have all day!" This entire process took about 5 minutes - so no longer than making a bagel or something (definitely less time than frying bacon!) So BOOM - better breakfast in less time!

Saying the Right Thing

We all have trouble finding the right words sometimes. Some of us even seem to NEVER be able to choose the right words at all or stay silent, as to not cement the fact that we are fools. Regardless of our particular issues, the ability to open your mouth and insert your foot seems to be the great human unifier, while the ability to be cool about someone else's traumas, foibles or faux pas is divine.

I remember reading a good story about Cary Grant. He was filming a movie with Audrey Hepburn (maybe Charade?!? That was a good one!) and they decided to take a break at a local cafe to enjoy some wine. Audrey, gesturing wildly, knocked the bottle all over him, ruining his jacket. Not missing a beat, he continued the conversation while removing his jacket and putting it on the back of his chair. He didn't say a word, but his message was perfect. 

Check out this post on the Happiness Project about some other simple ways to say the right thing. 

Raging Pinterest Addiction

Holy bananas y'all - I'm addicted to Pinterest like crazy. It's a rabbit hole of lovely things to discover and the perfect place to bookmark things visually so that you can reference them later. Haven't checked out this awesome site and are wondering what the heck I'm talking about? Pinterest allows people to create "boards" on a variety of topics and "pin" items to those boards for their followers to see. It's both a bookmarking site and a social tool, which makes it super fun because you can discover new things through your friends and help other people find neat stuff too!

What's this? Why it's something I found (and subsequently found the awesome blog it's on) on Pinteres

One way I have really enjoyed using my boards to archive recipes I find on the web. My old way of doing it left much to be desired - I either bookmarked it in my browser (all you see is a link name!) or printed it out and promptly lost it in the kitchen (wastes so many trees!). With Pinterest, I can see the items and select based on picture and name what I'll make tonight. It makes keeping up with healthy recipes so easy! 

Do you have any favorite recipes from around the web to share? Leave one in the comments or pin it and link back here so I can stalk you via Pinterest!

Kryptonite - what's yours?

The lovely Ruthie posted a great comment on a recent post about superpowers and expectation that made me think:

"... you should figure our your kryptonite and avoid it like the plague! :)"

YES! Kryptonite - we all have something in our lives that makes us powerless against it. Maybe it's a trigger food or the lure of party platters. Maybe it's waiting too late to eat a meal and then chowing down like a hungry gorilla or drinking too much and throwing caution to the wind when you decide you're hungry (I'm convinced this is why McDonald's still exists!)

Mine is the latter. If I have more than one glass of wine, my willpower goes the way of the Dodo. Any greasy, fatty foods in site are suddenly on my radar and I have to consumer them. NOW! Sober Sarah can let the craving pass, but slightly above the legal limit Sarah is ready to party - with cake.

My strategy of dealing with this is two fold: 1) Don't drink so much! and 2) Go into the situation full. If I eat a healthy meal beforehand, I can usually pass on the tater tots at the bar later on, but if I had alcohol on an emptyish stomach before ordering food, it's a guaranteed disaster.

What's your Kryptonite? What's your strategy to avoid it?

Beware the "Licensing Effect"

Oh Grechen Rubin - you've got me on this one. Big time!

One of my absolute favorite things to do is give myself license to do whatever I want after doing something good. If I don't spend any money for a few days, I let myself buy a pair of shoes. If I eat well, I take this as permission to eat all the donuts in the world.

As she explains here, this is a behavior that you should be weary of. The Licensing Effect can hamper your weight loss efforts, blow your budget and just plain old get you in trouble. Beware!

Ba de ya - dancing in September!

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

-Earth, Wind and Fire  

September is here! This month marks not only my six year wedding anniversary (WOO HOO!), but also my mother's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST MOM EVER!), my grandfather's birthday (PAPA - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!) and a new monthly goal!

In September, I will be replacing fried food (yes I try to eat too much of it) in my dietary pyramid with more veggies. Anytime the opportunity to eat something fried shows up, veggie time!

Also, I will be adding walks 2 days a week to my fitness plan - now I will have bootcamp twice, walking for 30 - 45 minutes twice and, hopefully, grab a yoga class now and then. 

Weight loss goals - I'm dialing it down to 3lbs. If I hit 5, woo hoo! If I make 3, still woo hoo!


September
Weight loss goal: 3lbs
Deadline: September 30, 2011
Habit swap: veggies for fried foods
New Habit: walking twice a week - 30 minutes or more

Cool post: Meg The Grand: I'm Bringing Zesty Back

Meg The Grand: I'm Bringing Zesty Back

Appropriate expectations

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." 
— Albert Einstein

This giraffe can climb a tree, but that's one of his talents. Fish - not so much.

Becoming a healthy adult means setting appropriate expectations.

It's true - think about it! For every goal you set, the outcome in closely linked to how realistic your expectations of yourself are. It's the same for weight loss as it is for career aspirations or karaoke song choices (if you can't normally sing like Adele, then you should probably stick to something in your wheelhouse. Wisdom for the ages, folks).

We are designed for failure.

We are also designed to learn, grow and try again. Wretched are those who give up too easily or set goals too high to reach. They are both doomed to an unfulfilled life.

Think about what you're good at. What's your superpower? The better you know yourself, the more likely you are to set goals that challenge you and compel you to grow. 

How do you get to know yourself better? Ask your friends - they'll tell you.

Or take it to the mat - meditate, sit quietly or just lay in a hammock. Through the silence - away from regular distractions - who you are tends to bubble up to the surface and become a lot more clear.

So you can't climb a ladder - you're a fish dude. Swim, swim, swim!

Mammogram Monday!

Where was I last Monday - instead of weighing in and writing a blog post I was having my boob squished in a vice. Yep. 

Things are A OK, but it was the result of a lump found in a routine breast exam. Ladies - check yourself before you wreck yourself - do self exams and keep up with yearly well-woman checkups with your doctor. It might save your life!

I was super lucky, but many women find out they have breast cancer thanks to this important (albeit uncomfortable) exam. Give a woman in need a free mammogram by clickty clicking on The Breast Cancer site. Yes it's legit! 

On a weight loss note: I am about the same as last weigh in - I gained a few ounces but nothing major. Full Weigh in Monday - the last of August - next week!

Check out my pretty new header!

Awww yeah - my super deluxe bike Gertie as been illustrated by the wonderful Rebekka Seale! She created a custom header image using the bike's likeness - I love it!

Happiness and the Little Things

I get to work with these sweaters people every day!

I have been conspicuously absent from this blog for almost a month now - a month! I say conspicuously because I'm the only one who writes for it, not because a lot of folks read it! Hello mom plus 4 other people who are most likely directly related to me!

Where have I been you may ask? I have been working full time, eating awesomely bad things and hanging with with my husband, dog and best friends. Life is good friends - life is good!

First, the job - I am now working full time at my "get well" job and I couldn't be happier! What started as a "come in and help with random stuff a few days a week" has turned into "hey why don't you come on in everyday!" And I love it. I get to do so many different things - some regular office manager tasks like billing and grocery shopping, but some writing, project management and client management as well. It's like a Frankenstein job where all the parts are awesome and I can walk there. And bring Tex!

I struggled a lot with what to do after Sew Crafty. Like many times in my life before, I beat myself up over not being able to decide the right path. Then I just started to let go a bit. Ruthie, a good friend who is one of the wisest people I know, said "Can you just work part time for a while?" When I said yes, she replied "Then why don't you just enjoy it and coast a bit."

So I coasted. I worked part time, worked out, walked, shopped at Target, visited my parents, and hung out with Ryan and Tex. It was a transitional time - some good times, lots of stress on choosing the "right" thing to do with my life, and lots of crying jags. I did this for about two months and had lots of "What will I DOOO!?!?" moments. On day I realized that I needed to find a full time job - it was time to make a choice. I needed to become a financially productive member of my family again.

At a work event called Tuna Infinity and Beyond
with a bunch of neuroscientists
reppin' Charlie the Tuna! You read that right.

In June, I came in to work and talked to my boss/friend (Brind? Fross?) about the situation. It didn't occur to me he would counter with "Well why don't you just work here full time?" Mind blown. That can happen?!? Apparently so. A month later, I'm a full timer!

Since then I have been adjusting to a full time schedule again. After working for yourself on your own time for 3 years, it's a bit of a challenge to get back into the groove of being somewhere every weekday for 8 hours at a time.

When it's the right place it make life much easier (examples: I love the people I work with; I like going to work in the morning - waking up is much easier when you look forward to being somewhere; one of my duties is keeping the office kitchen stocked, so I get to grab a few things for home while I'm at the grocery - multitasking win; they are flexible with stuff like dentist appointments and haircuts). Also, I know I mentioned bringing Tex, but it is just so cool to have your dog with you at work. He snoozes next to my desk and it's nice to take a break to play a bit!

It's all about the little things friends. Through the past 6 months I have learned that the simple things are the best things - which I totally know is a cliche. But as one of my favorite college professors said, it's a cliche because it's true. Happiness is contingent on being grateful for where you are, content with what you have and a dog sleeping at your feet.

I am happy because, right now, I have all three - I hope you are all having the best time ever too.

Looking Past Limits

How do you get your groove back when your faith is shaken and you don't know who to be or how to be. (Hat tip to Ed Schipul for sharing this awesome video)

Learning to sail my ship

I recently came across a great quote from Louisa May Alcott and it hit me like a freight train.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."

Mind. Blown.

Right now in my life, I'm lost at sea. I realize that sounds a bit ridiculous, but it's true. I'm panicked about what to do next and unsure of what my past experience means. We're in strange times my friends.

In the first few months of 2011, I have closed a small business, taken a month "off"; and taken/then quit an amazing opportunity. I've started a new "get well" job as a part-time office manager for an awesome company run by some of my favorite people in the world/located on my street. I can bring my dog to work and wear flip flops.

But the planner in me wants to know what's next. What's the plot? Where does this story lead?

The pragmatist in me says slow the hell down and take stock before leaping off into anything new. On the one hand, I want to jump into a full time, "holy cow you're a productive member of society again!" type of job with benefits and a salary. On the other, I don't want to blow another great opportunity because I'm not ready or it's not the right fit.

"The fastest way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Gandhi

The solution is to incubate for a bit and just stay busy being helpful to other people. I can help this company I'm working for by keeping their business running smoothly and taking those peripheral items (you know, all the little things you don't have time to do; the ones that drove me NUTS as a business owner) off their plate. I can help people through AniMeals and through the Friendly Visitor program. I can be useful right now to other people, instead of focusing solely on myself and my career and my, my, my.

I've swung up on the trapeze and let go, unsure of where my hands will find the next bar. But that's ok. I'm learning to sail my ship in uncharted territories. My first stop is the island of "shut the hell up Sarah and stop whining!" The second is to a place where I'm useful to others.

Storms be damned!

Quitter.

I'm a quitter. I quit my awesome internship at Schipul. I lasted two days.

The work was really interesting and the people were incredible, but at this point in my life I know myself very well and know when something isn't the right fit for me.

After running Sew Crafty for 3 years and internalizing a ton of stress at the cost of my relationships, body and general well being, I know now that I need to find something where stress isn't a big factor. Recovering addicts call this a "get well" job - something that doesn't involve a ton of stress/responsibility, but does give you the opportunity to feel good about a hard day's work. These are things I wish I would have found out before I committed to the job.

I will absolutely continue to be a HUGE fan of Schipul. After a peek behind the curtain, I can tell you three things:

1. Schipul clients are incredibly lucky. Those people work very, very hard for their clients. They care - and they care a lot. Every client - from small to large - gets the love and attention they deserve. I'm not surprised that this company is so successful. 
2. The people are total bad asses. Every person I met or worked with was incredibly smart, talented and warm - Schipul has the best people on their team. And those MOFOs work hard. On top of being hard workers, they're also funny, weird and help the heck out of anyone who has a question. 
3. Ed Schipul is a genius. I'm not throwing this term out lightly - the man knows his stuff backwards and forwards. Being in a meeting or a training with him is like getting hit by a freight train (in a good way). I only spent two days there and he managed to knock the BS out of my brain/give me a web marketing superpower. In two days folks. 

Time will tell if I will regret this decision, but I feel lucky to have a strong enough sense of myself to know when to fold 'em and walk away. I'm richer for the experience, no matter how short.

We only get one life and after spending three difficult years putting myself through the ringer, I need a break.