Thursday, April 14, 2011
Learning to sail my ship
"I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."
Right now in my life, I'm lost at sea. I realize that sounds a bit ridiculous, but it's true. I'm panicked about what to do next and unsure of what my past experience means. We're in strange times my friends.
In the first few months of 2011, I have closed a small business, taken a month "off"; and taken/then quit an amazing opportunity. I've started a new "get well" job as a part-time office manager for an awesome company run by some of my favorite people in the world/located on my street. I can bring my dog to work and wear flip flops.
But the planner in me wants to know what's next. What's the plot? Where does this story lead?
The pragmatist in me says slow the hell down and take stock before leaping off into anything new. On the one hand, I want to jump into a full time, "holy cow you're a productive member of society again!" type of job with benefits and a salary. On the other, I don't want to blow another great opportunity because I'm not ready or it's not the right fit.
"The fastest way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Gandhi
The solution is to incubate for a bit and just stay busy being helpful to other people. I can help this company I'm working for by keeping their business running smoothly and taking those peripheral items (you know, all the little things you don't have time to do; the ones that drove me NUTS as a business owner) off their plate. I can help people through AniMeals and through the Friendly Visitor program. I can be useful right now to other people, instead of focusing solely on myself and my career and my, my, my.
I've swung up on the trapeze and let go, unsure of where my hands will find the next bar. But that's ok. I'm learning to sail my ship in uncharted territories. My first stop is the island of "shut the hell up Sarah and stop whining!" The second is to a place where I'm useful to others.
Storms be damned!