If There's a Handbook, You Probably Get to Write it Yourself

Rant Alert: Curves and the Art of Loving Yourself As You Are

I went to a great Pilates class yesterday and today more than just my muscles are sore. In this class, a few women were talking about a celebrity and her weight gain. We're talking about a woman who was probably still a size 2 - just not the size 0 total hardbody that she had been for years. One of the women had posted about this on Facebook and received some negative feedback. Another woman chimed in and - I kid you not - her answer was "Well - they are probably just mad that they don't even look as good as CELEBRITY NAME when she's fat. I mean - go to the gym! If you have time to post on Facebook, you have time to get to the gym."

Real talk, y'all: fuck that shit.

As someone who hasn't been a size 2 since early high school, it offends me personally when others think it's ok to judge the bodies of others so harshly. Do you know their life? No? Then shut yo mouf. People are made in all sizes and shapes - many of them healthier or unhealthier than their outward appearance would lead you to believe. Skinny doesn't always mean healthy, chubby doesn't always mean unhealthy. And while we are on this subject, I have known some very naturally thin folks in my life and they don't like the "OMG eat something!!" judgment either. Tolerance isn't only for the curvy.

Should people eat healthfully and exercise no matter what their size or shape? Absolutely! The quickest way to feel great is to eat lots of veggies, lean proteins and fruit while moving your body on the daily. Some folks, no matter what they do or how consistently they do it, will never be a hardbody and that's ok! Your body is the greatest tool you will ever have and it's up to you to use it in a way that serves you best - not try to shape it into something that offends some stranger's eyes less when you wear shorts.

It's not right for me to tell you how you need to look. I should be able to relate to you as a person or that's my bad. And guess what? Tearing apart celebrity bodies in front of others, makes others feel bad about their regular person body. If your thought after reading that last sentence is "Well do something about it - go to the damn gym!" then go reread the above paragraph. I'll wait.

If you do one thing this week - just one! - as a good deed, do this: watch your criticism of other people's bodies. Just take a deep breath before you throw it out there - even when brunching with friends and "that lady who is totally wearing a Forever 21 romper and should absolutely not be" is all up in your face. Think about that lady - maybe she just lost 50 pounds and this is the first time she's worn shorts in 5 years. Maybe she's needing to feel sexy after her divorce and her girlfriend talked her into it. Think on that with your deep breath and then decide if it's worth tearing her down. I'm not innocent of this behavior either, but watching those thoughts come up again and again without acting on them has changed my perception. I guarantee it will change yours too.

In summary: rock what you got and don't be so dang mean about other people's bodies. They're trying as hard as they can - let's give all of us a break and just be kind.

Rant over. I used to never be this fired up about this issue, but as I get older and see how miraculous it is to have a fully functioning human body at my disposal, the less I'm ok with being mean and judgmental toward the bodies of others. Even celebrities. Their relationships and baby names are fair game though*. North West what the fuck!?!

PS: I will still regular this Pilates class and get my own curvy body strong - their judgement be damned!

*Just kidding. 

Top Photo via Pinterest of super awesome style blogger Girl With Curves. 

Back at It!

The Sew Weekly ladies are getting back together for a reunion this fall! I'm so excited to work with these three wonderful gals again and connect with some of the coolest crafters out there - hooray!

Finding Your Edge: Living Life Head First

In yoga, finding your edge is getting to that sweet spot between "Totes easy! I can pose like this all day." and "AHH! Curse you, demon person of an instructor! When will it end!" It's that point where you could easily fall head first on to the floor, but could just as easily reach a point past where you have been before in your life. The edge, an insightful instructor once told me, is where we're meant to live because it's where you stare into the mirror and really see yourself staring back.

This year with all of its pain and loss, has been one of finding the edge. The edge of loving and leaving, the edge of kindness and carelessness, the edge of life and death. I remember once saying out loud that I wanted to know if I could swim through every tide and, after this year, I know I can.

The hardest part of the edge? Courage. You need to have courage to go forward when bad things happen, to leave things that don't serve you anymore, and to live without a 5-year plan for a bit. As a person who likes order in my life, this year has been an exercise in letting go and I'm glad to have to opportunity to experience it. I have "white knuckled" life for so so long that I almost forgot what it felt like to just enjoy the ride.

I resolve to enjoy my edge and to live with the contentment of knowing I can care for myself even through the worst of time. And I can care for others too. And I can let others care for me. I'm not perfect, nothing is, but I am here, I'm present and I'm ready. Allons-y!

Tribute to Tex

On May 13th, 2013 we lost our little friend. He was the love of our lives and we will never forget him.

Stress Test: How Many Times Have You Wanted to Scream in the Past Week?

Adulthood sucks sometimes, y'all. The past year of my life has been so incredibly stressful that I'm both proud and surprised that I have survived it! I have taken to high fiveing myself whenever I think back to a hurdle I've cleared or how I've healthfully dealt with something difficult. While high fiveing yourself is good, meditating on it is better.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to help your body, mind and soul. It's free, simple and available to anyone who has even 10 minutes in their day to spare. I'm happy to say that I meditate almost daily and I hope you'll give it a shot too.

"What?" you say. "No way - I can't sit still!" Neither could I! Even though my *aspirational self wanted to be a meditator, my brain did not. I would attempt sitting - even once taking a 6-week Zen meditation class! - and then fidget my way into a tizzy. "I'm not built that way!" I'd tell myself and I'd give up.

Enter Headspace. Offering a simple, free 10-day program to help people learn to meditate via iPhone app, Headspace is perfect for those who lead busy lives, but want less busy minds. I tried the 10-day program - Take 10 - and found myself looking forward to each meditation. So much so that I started waking up early to do it - which if you know me personally, getting up early ranks somewhere behind hangnails in things I love.

I can honestly say that this program has changed my life for the better. After taking on the 10-day and the 15-day program, my mind is much quieter, my stress is more easy to cope with, and I just feel generally better. Give it a whirl if you can use some stillness in your life!

*you know, the part of you that wants to be amazing at cocktail parties "Yeah - I meditate and am on the kale and kindness diet. That's right - I'm great!"

Get OUTTA HERE Negativity.

Negativity gets the best of all of us sometimes - Amy Poehler drops some wisdom about how to stay positive in a world of trolls.