If There's a Handbook, You Probably Get to Write it Yourself

Rant Alert: Curves and the Art of Loving Yourself As You Are

I went to a great Pilates class yesterday and today more than just my muscles are sore. In this class, a few women were talking about a celebrity and her weight gain. We're talking about a woman who was probably still a size 2 - just not the size 0 total hardbody that she had been for years. One of the women had posted about this on Facebook and received some negative feedback. Another woman chimed in and - I kid you not - her answer was "Well - they are probably just mad that they don't even look as good as CELEBRITY NAME when she's fat. I mean - go to the gym! If you have time to post on Facebook, you have time to get to the gym."

Real talk, y'all: fuck that shit.

As someone who hasn't been a size 2 since early high school, it offends me personally when others think it's ok to judge the bodies of others so harshly. Do you know their life? No? Then shut yo mouf. People are made in all sizes and shapes - many of them healthier or unhealthier than their outward appearance would lead you to believe. Skinny doesn't always mean healthy, chubby doesn't always mean unhealthy. And while we are on this subject, I have known some very naturally thin folks in my life and they don't like the "OMG eat something!!" judgment either. Tolerance isn't only for the curvy.

Should people eat healthfully and exercise no matter what their size or shape? Absolutely! The quickest way to feel great is to eat lots of veggies, lean proteins and fruit while moving your body on the daily. Some folks, no matter what they do or how consistently they do it, will never be a hardbody and that's ok! Your body is the greatest tool you will ever have and it's up to you to use it in a way that serves you best - not try to shape it into something that offends some stranger's eyes less when you wear shorts.

It's not right for me to tell you how you need to look. I should be able to relate to you as a person or that's my bad. And guess what? Tearing apart celebrity bodies in front of others, makes others feel bad about their regular person body. If your thought after reading that last sentence is "Well do something about it - go to the damn gym!" then go reread the above paragraph. I'll wait.

If you do one thing this week - just one! - as a good deed, do this: watch your criticism of other people's bodies. Just take a deep breath before you throw it out there - even when brunching with friends and "that lady who is totally wearing a Forever 21 romper and should absolutely not be" is all up in your face. Think about that lady - maybe she just lost 50 pounds and this is the first time she's worn shorts in 5 years. Maybe she's needing to feel sexy after her divorce and her girlfriend talked her into it. Think on that with your deep breath and then decide if it's worth tearing her down. I'm not innocent of this behavior either, but watching those thoughts come up again and again without acting on them has changed my perception. I guarantee it will change yours too.

In summary: rock what you got and don't be so dang mean about other people's bodies. They're trying as hard as they can - let's give all of us a break and just be kind.

Rant over. I used to never be this fired up about this issue, but as I get older and see how miraculous it is to have a fully functioning human body at my disposal, the less I'm ok with being mean and judgmental toward the bodies of others. Even celebrities. Their relationships and baby names are fair game though*. North West what the fuck!?!

PS: I will still regular this Pilates class and get my own curvy body strong - their judgement be damned!

*Just kidding. 

Top Photo via Pinterest of super awesome style blogger Girl With Curves. 

Back at It!

The Sew Weekly ladies are getting back together for a reunion this fall! I'm so excited to work with these three wonderful gals again and connect with some of the coolest crafters out there - hooray!

Finding Your Edge: Living Life Head First

In yoga, finding your edge is getting to that sweet spot between "Totes easy! I can pose like this all day." and "AHH! Curse you, demon person of an instructor! When will it end!" It's that point where you could easily fall head first on to the floor, but could just as easily reach a point past where you have been before in your life. The edge, an insightful instructor once told me, is where we're meant to live because it's where you stare into the mirror and really see yourself staring back.

This year with all of its pain and loss, has been one of finding the edge. The edge of loving and leaving, the edge of kindness and carelessness, the edge of life and death. I remember once saying out loud that I wanted to know if I could swim through every tide and, after this year, I know I can.

The hardest part of the edge? Courage. You need to have courage to go forward when bad things happen, to leave things that don't serve you anymore, and to live without a 5-year plan for a bit. As a person who likes order in my life, this year has been an exercise in letting go and I'm glad to have to opportunity to experience it. I have "white knuckled" life for so so long that I almost forgot what it felt like to just enjoy the ride.

I resolve to enjoy my edge and to live with the contentment of knowing I can care for myself even through the worst of time. And I can care for others too. And I can let others care for me. I'm not perfect, nothing is, but I am here, I'm present and I'm ready. Allons-y!

Tribute to Tex

On May 13th, 2013 we lost our little friend. He was the love of our lives and we will never forget him.

Stress Test: How Many Times Have You Wanted to Scream in the Past Week?

Adulthood sucks sometimes, y'all. The past year of my life has been so incredibly stressful that I'm both proud and surprised that I have survived it! I have taken to high fiveing myself whenever I think back to a hurdle I've cleared or how I've healthfully dealt with something difficult. While high fiveing yourself is good, meditating on it is better.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to help your body, mind and soul. It's free, simple and available to anyone who has even 10 minutes in their day to spare. I'm happy to say that I meditate almost daily and I hope you'll give it a shot too.

"What?" you say. "No way - I can't sit still!" Neither could I! Even though my *aspirational self wanted to be a meditator, my brain did not. I would attempt sitting - even once taking a 6-week Zen meditation class! - and then fidget my way into a tizzy. "I'm not built that way!" I'd tell myself and I'd give up.

Enter Headspace. Offering a simple, free 10-day program to help people learn to meditate via iPhone app, Headspace is perfect for those who lead busy lives, but want less busy minds. I tried the 10-day program - Take 10 - and found myself looking forward to each meditation. So much so that I started waking up early to do it - which if you know me personally, getting up early ranks somewhere behind hangnails in things I love.

I can honestly say that this program has changed my life for the better. After taking on the 10-day and the 15-day program, my mind is much quieter, my stress is more easy to cope with, and I just feel generally better. Give it a whirl if you can use some stillness in your life!

*you know, the part of you that wants to be amazing at cocktail parties "Yeah - I meditate and am on the kale and kindness diet. That's right - I'm great!"

Get OUTTA HERE Negativity.

Negativity gets the best of all of us sometimes - Amy Poehler drops some wisdom about how to stay positive in a world of trolls. 

Falling Forward

Today I looked at my "last published" date on my blog and was shocked. Shocked! "January 25, 2012" it said. That was over seven months ago - so much has happened since January of this year that I barely remember what I was doing when I published that post. Please excuse my silence here - I just had a chance to catch my breath.

For the past 12 months my life has been a bit crazy. In the past, I never understood the phrase "My life was turned upside down" - now it has become my mantra. Life - mine at least - has been unsteady, unpredictable and batshit crazy for an entire year. From a critically ill father to a new career to school to postponing grad school to going back to my former job to remodeling my house, I feel like I have hit tons of life milestones this year save for getting married (done it!), having a baby (maybe one day) or getting divorced (no thanks!).

That's not to say that there hasn't been great things this year. In February, my group of friends grew by one adorable baby person named Samuel. We are now the proud aunts and uncles to such a great little dude - he is even crawling now! My father is making small but important steps toward recovery. My mom, sister and I have become a lot closer because of my dad's illness. My husband and I have supported and comforted each other through the hardest year we have experienced together.

When things are so consistently tough, the people in your life tend to step up or step out. I feel lucky that everyone in my life is in the former category. We've lost people this year. We've gained people this year. We've all been through the ringer and are now coming out the other side.

This fall, I think we've all earned a new dawn. It's time to move forward, to gain some ground, and to achieve some balance. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some steady, quiet time and a hot cup of tea. What will you look forward to this fall?

You Can't Build on Broken

One of the best experiences of my life was volunteering with TEDxHouston last year. Some of my best friends - the Culture Pilots! - are the curators of this independently organized TED event and boy do they do a bang up job.

This was my favorite talk from 2011. Neighborhood Center's Angela Blanchard talks about bringing communities up by building on what they have, not on what's broken. I dare you not to tear up.

Check in Monday - 1/16/12

Last week was a whirlwind, but I still managed to get some of my goals on track - how'd you do this week?

• Walking/Working Out: walking was on like Donkey Kong this week; I walked 4 of 5 days! I made it to one yoga class, which was a bummer, but my goal this week is 2!
• Eating at Home: We ate a home a decent amount this week, but ate out more then we wanted to because of some craziness. This week the awesomest friends ever made it possible to eat at home almost every meal, thanks to the fact that they cooked Ryan and I a week's worth of dinners! Thank you Erin and Christina!!*
• Meditating: Just like last week, I whiffed it. Not one session on the cushion. I have signed up for a meditation class at the Houston Zen Center on Thursday evenings. I took this class in 2010 and really enjoyed it, now it's time for a refresher to get me back in the habit of sitting! 

*Note: Does not constitute a legit thank you. Real thank you coming soon!

Life as a Practice

I have been running into the concept of life as a practice a lot lately and something about that really resonates with me. The more you do certain behaviors, the more they become habit - who you are is drawn each day by the things you do over and over. It's so simple and so powerful - we all have a chance to remake ourselves every day!

Great post on this topic at Zen Habits!

Baby Sloth Bathtime

Just because. You're welcome.

Now is Now

If you have yet to read the Happiness Project blog, hop on over and check it out. She has such a wonderful way of summing up big, epic truths in life with a casual, humorous voice. 

One of my favorite things about this site (and the book!) are her simple truths in life - things she has learned in her life that seem to apply universally. In this post, she talks about staying in the present using a scene from one of my favorite movies, Before Sunrise (don't judge! I grew up in the 90s - Ethan Hawk was dreamy then!). 

Recipe: Brussels Sprouts a la Amelie

On a recent trip to New Orleans, we dined at an AWESOME place off Royal St. called Cafe Amelie. There we had an appetizer - made with Brussels sprouts -  that I have craved daily ever since; here's my attempt at recreating it! Not as jaw droppingly amazing as their version, but it's close enough to tide me over until our next trip. Enjoy!

Clearing Out Clutter

Found this awesome guy here. Great post on mental clutter!

"A comfortable home is a great source of happiness. It ranks immediately after health and a good conscience." — Sydney Smith (Thanks Happiness Project!)

Clutter is a big part of my life. I seem to have tons of it - a cluttered craft room, a cluttered coffee table (much to Ryan's chagrin) and a mid full of racing, cluttery thoughts. Clutter, clutter, clutter. Say it enough and your skin starts to crawl. Clutter. *shiver* Yuck.

My cluttered life isn't for lack of trying to be non-cluttered. I recycle, clear out spaces, purge my messes, donate items and toss stuff regularly, but like a tsunami it creeps back in one yard of fabric or one cookbook at a time. I try to focus on not buying new things in X category or for Y area, but it keeps coming like a wave of zombies. 

I don't know what happened this January, but I had enough. "Clutter - GET OUTTA HERE!" My brain said. I cleared out my fridge, my pantry, my closet and my office. I took clothing donations to the Salvation Army and all my extra craft supplies to an awesome after school program that needed them. I uncluttered my schedule and decided to have some time for myself to exercise. Goodbye clutter!

With so many surfaces in my home and in my life clear, I feel good about what's starting. My mind is opening up and my chest is less tight from stress. I can find things I'm looking for and not have that "Awww damn!" moment when you pour expired spaghetti sauce into your freshly made pasta. Now my shelves are stocked with fresh stuff and for once you can clearly see what's in the fridge. Victory!

When my home is clear, I'm clear. What about you? Do you need to clean your kitchen before you start a project or scrub the bathtub before doing your taxes? How do you clear your messy surfaces, physical or otherwise?

Need help getting there in 2012? Zen Habits has you clear and uncluttered!

Check in Monday - 1/9/12

I'm not a prize fighter and it stresses me out to focus on numbers instead of goals, so 

is now

Instead of spouting off how much I lost - or didn't lose - the last week, I'm going to do a status check on my goals for month!

How things are going so far:

• Walking/Working Out: decent progress! I walked twice last week and hit up yoga once. This week, I hope to get 3 walks in and 1 - 2 yoga classes!
• Eating at Home: I whiffed it on the goal setting - I should focus on how many meals I can eat out rather than how many I eat at home so it's easier to keep track. New goal - eat out 3 times (or less) this week. Last week I ate most meals at home, so yay for that!
• Meditating: Whiffed it. Not one session on the cushion. Goal for this week - hit the mat 4 times, working up to 7!

Conclusion: Progress has been made in many areas; room for improvement in others!

How are your goals going so far? 

Saturdays - AMIRITE?

Vinnie Jones and Stayin' Alive!

Recent research has shown that the chances of surviving a heart attack double if the person helping you does continuous compression CPR. Vinnie Jones, the badass from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, shows us how it's done.

Pumpkin Oatmeal!

Lots of lovely oatmeals - thanks A Beautiful Mess!

I'm a breakfast gal. I just don't do well without something in my tummy first thing in the morning. While I LOVE donuts, scrambled eggs and bacon, I know that having something more balanced will set a better tone for my day. Enter oatmeal!

Oatmeal is magical! It's good for you (most types have more than 3 grams of soluble fiber - the cholesterol lowering kind! - per serving) and the complex carbs digest slowly so that you don't want to cut someone for a Snickers bar by 11 a.m. Most importantly (to me) it's diverse: you can get super crazy flavors at your local grocery store or add delicious things to plain varieties (My favorites are Irish Oatmeal and Quaker Rolled Oats). Plus, what other breakfast food has a hilarious comic site named after it? Not so fast Raisin Bran.

Today after my walk (HOLLA!) I whipped up a bowl of Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal after seeing the recipe on A Beautiful Mess.

I tweaked the recipe a bit with what I had on hand - here's what I did:

"How long did that take, Sarah? I don't have all day!" This entire process took about 5 minutes - so no longer than making a bagel or something (definitely less time than frying bacon!) So BOOM - better breakfast in less time!

Saying the Right Thing

We all have trouble finding the right words sometimes. Some of us even seem to NEVER be able to choose the right words at all or stay silent, as to not cement the fact that we are fools. Regardless of our particular issues, the ability to open your mouth and insert your foot seems to be the great human unifier, while the ability to be cool about someone else's traumas, foibles or faux pas is divine.

I remember reading a good story about Cary Grant. He was filming a movie with Audrey Hepburn (maybe Charade?!? That was a good one!) and they decided to take a break at a local cafe to enjoy some wine. Audrey, gesturing wildly, knocked the bottle all over him, ruining his jacket. Not missing a beat, he continued the conversation while removing his jacket and putting it on the back of his chair. He didn't say a word, but his message was perfect. 

Check out this post on the Happiness Project about some other simple ways to say the right thing.